We should rightly teach our kids to value and appreciate all other kids, regardless of their color, ethnicity, home life, affluence, or popularity. As a parent, I want my kid to sit next to the kid that has no friends, to play with the kid that’s alone, to have friends that look different, and to look for the value that everyone comes to the table with. Why is it, then, that if take a look at our own, personal community that we’ll find almost everyone looks like us, acts like us, believes like us, and shares our views?Continue reading
Statistically, you probably can count your friends on one hand. The average American only reports having two close friends. You could’ve lost a few fingers in an accident and still count your friends on one hand if you’re living the average life.
This is a huge deal.
You probably think you don’t have time for all this. You’re too busy for friendships. As one of my friends recently said, “I barely have time for my kids and wife. How in the world can I keep a friend?”
It’s an issue of life and death.
Friendship is an enigma wrapped in a riddle.
My friend Bob used to say that about things that were confusing. I don’t really understand it, but I get what it means. It’s a confession… a confessing of complication and confusion. It’s as if you’re saying, “This topic is so convoluted and difficult to understand that we can all have different opinions on it and all be right.”
Understanding friendship is like trying to nail down Jello (that’s another one of my favorite sayings from Bob… he has a lot of them).
Here’s a very simple principle for when things seem convoluted:
When things are confusing, go to the Bible for timeless wisdom.
We’ve all experienced it…
We made a friend, got close to them and shared our hearts and lives, only to months or years later to look back and feel like we’ve lost them.
For many of us, that perspective is filled with pain. We hurt in the loss. It’s hard to open up to someone, and it’s even harder to feel like you’ve lost that connection after being vulnerable and loving someone.
The truth is we don’t have to hurt because there are often practical reasons why they are not your friends anymore. Here are just a few…
How many best friends do you have?
My son Klay has about fifteen. He uses that term very freely. If you’re playing with him and it’s going well he’s probably going to tell you, “You’re my best friend.”
He’s not being manipulative in his use of the term. He’s just very situational.
I’ve noticed the same thing among adults. We have lots of “best friends”, and I don’t really think the culture of friendship we’re creating is very good for us.
“Best friend” is a very sacred title.
It implies that someone has significant influence in your life and that you, inversely, have great access to theirs. A best friend is someone who knows you inside and out, with all the ugly and broken. A best friend is also someone you can find rest with, simply be who you are, and be fully accepted for that.
We don’t stumble across those friends often.