Kevin Simmons

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Guard Your Expectations

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I used to coach high school football. I loved it. I loved the practices, the preparations, and the Friday night performances. 

I remember once when a parent got upset because we had credited his son with 12 tackles and not more. I can still hear him screaming at me, “You know it was more than that!” In case you don’t know… twelve tackles in a high school football game is an incredible achievement. 

We used to say, “Coaching would be an amazing job if it wasn’t for the parents.” 

Why? As coaches and athletes, we were on the same team, and often a parent is on a different team: their kid’s team. They see everything through the lens of their child. How does this affect my kid? Will my kid be better because of this? They do not see things through the lens of the team. 

I pastor a young, growing church I feel a similar tension again. I’ve heard other Pastors say, “Pastoring would be an amazing job if it wasn’t for ‘church people’.” In many ways, people who’ve grown up in church present some of the greatest challenges to leading a congregation. 

People who are new to Jesus, fresh to the Christian experience, and new to church present a different kind of challenge when leading. They’re often excited and motivated to make a difference, and they usually jump right in to put their gifts to work. But… They can come with a mess. Their sin is going to become a challenge as we start to lead them. 

“Church people” come with a different challenge, and that challenge is simply that they’ve been to church, been involved in leading a church, or served a church before. 

Why is that a challenge? 

It’s a challenge because our prior experience creates present expectations. 

Why do “church people” get mad when they feel like decisions are being made that they disagree with in a local church? Perhaps in their prior experience at church (or life), they’ve been given a voice to affect the trajectory of decisions, the churches they’ve been a part of were led with an (unbiblical) democratic governance, or the leaders they worked with gave them a platform to share their opinions. It’s reasonable to understand that they come with an expectation that they will be heard, and their request will be responded to. 

Why do “church people” get upset when there is change with in a local church? Perhaps the churches they’ve been a part of held to a consistent tradition from which they found a source of peace and strength. They were given a chance in other incidences to affect the change or squash the change or simply disagree with the church’s leadership or direction. There are expectations that the local church will either stay consistent in it’s practice or only change when it’s agreed upon. 

If you’re a “church person”, let me give you three expectations to guard to help you have a life-giving relationship with the local church: 

1 – Guard your expectations for how the church responds to you. 

The church doesn’t exist to serve your purposes. The church exists to serve Jesus’ purposes. We all have expectations when it comes to personal interactions, and, in many ways in the church, that’s been informed by our prior experience in the local church. A church that’s serving 500 people will not interact with you in the same way that a church that’s serving 50 people can. If you’re in a smaller church, it’s easier for those serving you to infer your needs. The more people that a church is serving and the less connected you are in that community of faith, the more the burden is on you to communicate your needs to the local church. Even then, it’s important to know that every church interacts and responds differently. Give grace and don’t measure your current situation by past experiences (both good and bad). 

2 – Guard your expectations for change and decision-making. 

Many churches are run by a local board made of up of well-meaning, good-intentioned people who have no formal training to lead an organization or a church. In the past pandemic, I’ve read a lot about COVID-19. I can earnestly speak to the data that I’ve read and the research that is emerging. But… I’m not a doctor, a nurse, or a respiratory therapist. There’s a background of work and knowledge that leverages expertise to those individuals who have been called and trained for those jobs. Similarly, churches need to be piloted by the ones who God has called and equipped for the role of leading that congregation. Don’t view change as an enemy. Instead, let the change take it’s a course and invest yourself in making it as good as possible. Don’t argue about decisions that aren’t yours to make. Instead, invest yourself in making the application of those decisions as life-giving as possible. Change isn’t always for the best, but it’s evident in our culture that a refusal to change is a death sentence on any church. Work through these tensions with honor, humility, and submission. 

3 – Guard your expectations of your Pastor. 

Let me openly say that I’ve failed this job and this calling many, many times. I’ve cried and mourned when I’ve done so. Your Pastor isn’t perfect, and they never will be. We’re not superhuman. We come to the job with a calling, our gifts, and, unfortunately, our weaknesses, too. I’ve heard “church people” say, “The people in the world treat me so much better than the people in the church.” I once heard John Bevere address this. He said, “You expect so little from the world that when they do anything good it’s a blessing, but you expect so much from other Christians that when they misstep in the slightest, it becomes an offense.” Honoring a Pastor isn’t thinking that they’re a superhero that’s incredibly gifted, strong, and never in error. Instead, honoring them is more about living in awe of what God is doing through a fellow believer who is just as flawed as you are. If you’re looking for the perfect Pastor, you’ll be looking for a long time looking at human beings. God’s called us all to be led by imperfect people, and through them to see the perfect God who is actively redeeming us all. 

I’m thankful to lead many “church people”, and I’m grateful that we can shape this next generation together.

Let’s guard our expectations and lean into what God has for us. 

Where Is Your Hope?

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It’s a story that’s been told over and over again.

It’s a story of the possibilities of hope, reconciliation, and peace. It’s compelling. It’s inviting. Many of us have listened to and believed in it.

This story, like all great stories, starts with believing. If you believe in the story, buy into the person, and invest in the process, there’s hope. If you give it a chance to work, the story will produce reconciliation and peace.

The promise of this story is great.

It’s a promise of peace between ethnicities and races. It’s a promise of economic prosperity. It’s a promise of hope for future generations to have opportunities and platforms we couldn’t imagine.

Every several years we’re sold the same story. It’s the same story that’s been told for decades. It’s called politics.

And… We fall for it.

Politicians make a living promising you something that often they cannot deliver. The story is, “Vote for me, and I’ll bring an incomparable season of prosperity and peace into your life.” Sometimes the story is, “If you vote for my opponent, you’ll compromise your safety, security, and the future of your children.”

We’re promised so much: a new and better economy, environmental solutions, new jobs, justice for the oppressed, lower taxes for the middle class, and hope for a better future. Those are staggering promises. During the next election, what happens if those promises are unfulfilled? We just blame the opposition and repurpose the same old story.

We know we’re flawed. We see the flaws. We want a savior.

Could the problem be that we’re looking at the wrong place to find a savior?

Would you mind if I ask you a few questions…

If racial injustice is a sin issue, while we may write a few new laws that are just and needed, will the underlying problem be addressed by a politician or political movement?

Can a politician really promise to secure your health?

Can the president, a congressman or congresswoman, or a governor really guarantee your safety?

More questions can be asked, but I hope you see the point.

Do I believe that every believer (and citizen for that matter) should be informed and vote? Yes. It’s important. Our elected officials have an incredible burden on their shoulders, and the ones I know personally carry that burden with a sincere desire to serve their people.

The problem isn’t politics. The problem is us. We try to turn men into saviors.

You can only find a Savior in one person. His story has been told for centuries. It’s upset and toppled empires, recreated societies, and transformed the lives of a multitude. This story has been told by the educated and ignorant. It’s been a source of inspiration and hope. And… This person is alive today.

That Savior is Jesus.

Our hope in Him is not in vain. He is the one who can deliver on His promises. He is the one who can heal our cities, mend our hearts, and secure our future.

Jesus alone is our Savior. The promise of His message is great. He has healing, reconciliation, and hope for us. Let’s not confuse where we find our hope because the hope we have in Jesus is a sacred Hope. It’s a hope that unites us, focuses us on what we have in common, and gives us a clearly defined objective: to share His Love with a lost and broken world.

In this season, let’s on by into the story we’ve been sold before. Let’s see this for what it is. And… Let’s look to Jesus as our Savior and Hope!

I’m Tired

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I’m tired.

These last six months have been wonderfully brutal. I didn’t see all this coming. If you did, good for you. I didn’t.

I’m tired of Coronavirus or COVID-19 or the ‘Rona or whatever you want to call it. I’m not minimizing it. I’m not denying its reality. I’m just saying I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the changing narratives… the “flatten the curve” narrative (which I was entirely on board with) and now the “keep the vulnerable safe” (which I understand, but I don’t quite see the desired end for this playbook).

I’m tired of talking about masks. I remember when SARS initially broke out in Asia. I was in China not long after that, and it was disconcerting to see so many wearing masks. I’m tired of the tension it’s created: the “care for the vulnerable”, “your arrogant if you don’t wear it”, “it’s my personal liberty to choose what I wear”, and always helpful, “my body, my choice” (which seems to play well politically when it’s comfortable and convenient).

I’m tired of the cultural tensions we’re living through. People are sinful. This shouldn’t shock us. Sinful people do something in common… they sin. We sin by hating what God loves, by propagating injustice, by resisting God’s correction, by pridefully thinking we know what the world needs, by trusting political candidates more than we trust God, and a thousand other ways. Why do we keep looking at the VERY SAME CULTURAL CONSTRUCTS that created the problems we’re living through to solve them?

I’m tired of what the past six months have created… a culture of comfort and entertainment. You watch what’s comfortable. You avoid what’s not. Our primary guidance is being drawn from, is it “safe”? This is especially tragic because safety rarely connects to meaning. It’s easy to disconnect from an online church service when it starts to feel unsafe and starts to challenge your opinions and perspectives. It’s easy to withdraw from a relationship when you feel like you’re being challenged or convicted, because it’s much safer to stay comfortable.

I’m tired of being tired. We’ve opened a new location and pivoted our internal systems to provide a new, online platform for ministry. My family sold a home and moved in the last six months. I’m feeling it. I’m tired… the kind of tired a good night of sleep cannot fix.

When you’re tired, there’s a reason. We can focus on what we’ve lost, or we can focus on what’s left. We can focus on what we’ve given, or we can focus on what we’ve gained.

When life pressed pause during the shutdowns, we all gained a new perspective. We saw how busy we were. We saw how much we’d neglected our families. We learned that we didn’t need to do all those things that we’d been doing. It was a brutal lesson in how we’ve managed the invaluable resource of our time. Still, it has given us a beautiful hope for a future that integrates what really matters.

Masks work to stop the spread of a respiratory virus about 60%-80% of the time. There’s no perfect solution to this new viral contagion, but it’s something we can do together. Whatever measures are taken, it’s evident that they only work if we work together. What a time to live in… a time when we are culturally trying to figure out how we can all work together to cope with, treat, and navigate a new threat. It’s a tremendous opportunity for unity and solidarity, no matter your perspective or political affiliation.

While the cultural tensions of this year were spurred on by violence and resulted in violence, it’s essential to understand that there is an amounting potential for peace. As a Christian, I’ve lived most of my adult life, knowing that many of my closest held beliefs weren’t widely affirmed culturally. Many people who are outside of Orthodox Christian thought look to it’s abuses as a means of discrediting our Christian message and beliefs. Ravi Zacharias has correctly argued that “you cannot judge the validity of an idea by looking to the abuse of that idea.” This is the perfect time to listen to people who are different than you, lean into their stories, and validate their experiences.

While our new way of life has created an opportunity for us to “culturally curate” an existence that is much freer of discomfort and guided by safety, this will create a vacuum of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. The Gospel of Jesus shines in such cultural moments. It is at the heart of the message of Jesus that we find our most authentic selves and our greatest purpose. The Church has a new moment, with new tools, and a brand new audience. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s going to be a tremendous opportunity for the hope of Jesus to shine through His bride.

When we’re tired, it’s a new opportunity to trust Jesus. Jesus once said, “Come to see all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). You can’t sleep off the kind of tired many of us are feeling these days, but Jesus can give you rest. You can rest in His grace, His mercy, and His love for you.

You might be tired like me. If you are, it’s a perfect moment to turn to Jesus.

Fear & Faithfulness

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Over the past few days, our communities have started to respond to the global COVID-19 or Corona Virus pandemic. We have sports seasons on hold or canceled, travel bans, and a national shortage of toilet paper (really, it’s crazy).

As a Pastor, I’ve worked with other church leaders who are leading their churches and communities through this season. Some of my friends are in cities where there are many confirmed cases of COVID-19, some have voluntarily suspended worship services, and others were forced to suspend church services altogether.

As you consider how you’ll be responding to this escalating issue, can I ask you a simple question:
Is your greatest response to FEAR or FAITH?

While fear certainly keeps us from jumping off of skyscrapers or putting our hand on a hot stove, fear makes a lousy motivator. Fear will prevent you from doing things you should and cause you to do something you shouldn’t.

Faith, however, responds to the truth of God’s Word, His promises to us, and what we know to be true of the world. Faith is what allows us to see what isn’t externally visible (Hebrews 11:1). Faith is a great motivator. It will cause us to do things we should have always done, and it will keep us from doing things we shouldn’t do.

I love the word “faithfulness.”
Faith = Our ability to trust and respond to God’s truth
Full = Modifier – To be full of what comes before
Ness = Modifier – Take the first parts, and this means a quality or condition of their combined meanings.
Collectively the word “faithfulness” describes someone who is living in a state of mind and heart where they are full of faith.

2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

We were not created to live lives that are full of fear or timidity. A “spirit of fear” can be understood to reference those who have let fear become their central motivation. Their spirit is no longer full of faith. Instead, it’s full of fear.

Faith also doesn’t deny the facts. It doesn’t turn it’s head to the truth. All truth reconciles with truth, and Jesus told us that He, himself, was living truth (John 14:6). Acknowledging the facts, learning more about your circumstance, and responding to the truth of the situation doesn’t deny your faith in Jesus, it amplifies it, as long your faith remains your motivation.

For those of us that are Christ-followers, it’s time for us to show the world what faithfulness looks like. Let’s be people who don’t deny the facts, but also live with faith at the center of our motivation.

“A scared world needs a fearless church.” AW Tozer.

Let’s be faithful, church. It’s time to shine.

You Need To Fight For It

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Somewhere in the unwritten laws of social contracts that we superimpose on relationships is the following misunderstanding, “If you’re good at this relationship, you won’t right.” 

That’s a lie. 

Healthy relationships experience conflict.

How can two people, with different perspectives, personalities, and backgrounds, live in functional intimacy without conflict? It’s simply impossible. Your differing perspectives, personalities, and backgrounds will create more than enough conflict, not to mention what sin will do. 

Statistically, we know that about 30% of the conflict we face is based on a problem. There’s a solution to the problem, and the conflict will push us towards the solution.

We also know that 70% of the conflict we face is “residual conflict” and will never have a solution. This conflict comes from personalities, preferences, and backgrounds. There is no solution to a conflict that comes from differing personalities. It is a tension that must be managed. 

You probably experience conflict. It’s a normal part of life. 

Have you ever stopped to think about what you’re fighting for? 

More often than not, we’re fighting to be right. We think our perspectives are clearly right, and we want the other person to cave and surrender to our rightness. What if what you’re fighting for is totally wrong? What if while you’re fighting to be right, you’re going about it all wrong? 

It’ll help if you choose what you’re going to fight ahead of time. If you want to have better finances, you’ll need to fight to work a budget. If you want a better relationship with your spouse, you’ll need to fight for less “me” and more “we.” If you want better friendships, you’re going to have to fight the tendency to make it all about yourself. 

Whatever you want, you’re going to have to fight for it.

I shared a few messages on the topic of conflict at our church recently, here are the links to listen in: 

Fight For It: Why Conflict Matters – https://pkev.in/fight4it

Sucker Punch: How To Respond To Conflict – https://pkev.in/sucker-punch

Hills To Die On: What To Fight For – https://pkev.in/hills-2-dieFight Rules: How To Fight Fair – https://pkev.in/fight-rules