I’m not a “health nut”, but I’ve learned something important about being healthy… It hurts.
Being unhealthy hurts, too.
When you plant a church, at the center of your motivation needs to be two things: God and people.
Planting always needs to be a response to a call. I’ve written about that before.
Planting also always needs to be focused on people.
One of simplest, yet most profound questions we’ll ever wrestle with is: “What’s the purpose of my life?”
I believe that Jesus still invites us to follow Him, just like He did His disciples.
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out where God is going.
I know a lot of people who wrestle with this. The wrestling comes in the form of “calling” and “career”. We want to have a clear roadmap, and too often it just feels hazy for a lot of us. We don’t know what where Jesus is leading us or what He specifically wants us to do.
When God convinced me that He wanted me to move to back to our small, rural hometown and start a brand new church I thought this would all be about a church.
A vast research project from the University of North Carolina studied how we, as American culture, view God. Christian Smith, a Sociology Professor at UNC, determined that the most common understanding of God in America aligns to these statements:
Dr. Smith summed up this perception with this statement:
For most of America, we view God as a “Divine Butler”… someone to come and help us when we need Him, but not too involved in our lives.
There’s one huge problem with all of that…
That’s not how it works.
We’re not in charge. (and I’m thankful for that!)
The greatest problem with that perception of God is that we expect God to love us how we WANT to be loved.
That’s not how love works.
Love isn’t about what we want. Love thrives in what we need.
Love isn’t about me. Love is all about someone else.
Love isn’t about my needs. Love meets somebody else’s needs.
Why do we make love about us? It cannot work that way. It will only fail.
The same application needs to be made to how we understand God’s love.
God does not love us how we want to be loved.
God loves us how we need to be loved.
At times, what we need is not comfortable, and I’m afraid that many of us spend way too much time running from God’s loving invitations.
You know that your kids need to eat their vegetables. They’d rather eat candy. You love them, so you force them to eat their green beans and broccoli.
You want to live a comfortable life.
God wants you to live a meaningful life.
So… God convicts you and invites you to change your direction.
Even though its uncomfortable, He convicts you because He loves you!
I’m thankful that God doesn’t love us how we want to be loved.
He loves us how we need to be loved!
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What’s something that you’ve been running from that you realize is a loving invitation from Jesus?
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Jesus (Matthew 5:14-16)
Let’s face it: this world is quite confusing these days.
People have all sorts of opinions about what’s good and bad, what’s right and wrong, what we should do and not do, etc.
When the world seems dark, our typical reaction as Christ-followers is…
We blame the dark for being dark.
You know, I think God is pretty smart. When Jesus described the church and His followers as “the light” it was not on accident.
What is “darkness”? Darkness only exists in the absence of light.
Just one tiny spark lights up a completely dark room.
So, is it more helpful to blame the dark for being dark? Or is it a better question to ask where the light is?
When the world seems to be getting dark, let’s make these commitments:
#1 – Let’s blame ourselves.
If we are living out the Gospel as the people of God, the world will be full of light. If it’s not, then it’s our fault. It’s that simple.
#2 – Don’t get mad at the world for being the world.
The Church and the Gospel are intended to be instruments of healing and restoration, not blame and condemnation. “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17
#3 – Make a difference in your own world.
“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16
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How can we more fully be the light Jesus wants us to be? Leave a comment below and share you thoughts:
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We’re pleased to (finally) get to share our annual report from 2014.
What God has done and is doing in our church is simply staggering. As you read over this, let’s allow this to prompt us to praise Jesus!
One of the most common questions I get is:
“How can I listen to the message from this Sunday? We’re going to be out of town, and I don’t want to miss out on it!”
That’s a huge compliment.
We work hard each week to prepare messages that we think will be life-giving, meaningful, and relevant to your life right now. The fact that so many of you connect to them is a powerful testimony to what Jesus is doing in our church!
By Tuesday morning, we’ll have the message from that Sunday posted online.
Each week we provide several ways for you to connect to the messages we’re sharing on Sunday (or reconnect if you were with us).
Here’s how you can listen:
#1 – Access past messages through the Vortex Church app on your iOS phone or tablet, Android phone or tablet, Windows phone, or Amazon Fire.
The Vortex App is the best way to find our most recent messages, consolidated into one, convenient place. Once the app loads, it’ll load directly to the “sermons” tab.
The great thing about the Vortex App is that you can watch our latest videos, my blogs, and check out for upcoming events all in one place.
To get the Vortex Church App, visit: http://get.theapp.co/0230
NOTE: Make sure you enable “Push Notifications” so that we can send you important updates. We did this during the ice storm this past weekend and it was very helpful.
#2 – Subscribe to our Podcast.
Our podcast is going to become an interesting way for you to interact with the messages, because we’ll be providing exclusive content on it.
We’re planning to do some Q&A and sermon follow-ups posted mid-week that will only be available on our podcast!
There are THREE ways to subscribe to our podcast:
#3 – Listen directly from our website.
Our website has been a constant source of information for our church, and we’re thankful that many of you visit it frequently.
To find the catalogue of our sermons, starting with the newest and working it’s way backwards, visit: http://vortexchurch.com/sermons/.
From the website you can stream the audio, download the messages, and often download the notes as well.
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Is there any other way that we could make the sermon audio more accessible for you? If so, tell me in the comments and we’ll work on that for you!
The data is overwhelming: Facebook is having a negative impact on marriages.
Let me be up front about this: It’s not Facebook’s fault. Facebook can be a wonderful supplement to your existing relationships. It can help you connect with people you love but don’t get to see regularly. It gives you a chance to share your life with people you don’t see or talk to regularly. When used properly, it can be valuable.
The Facebook problem is a symptom of a greater disease: we’re not doing married right.
At Vortex, we’ve spent the last few weeks examining God’s blueprint for marriage, and we’ve all been challenged, convicted, and changed by what Jesus has been teaching us. If you haven’t been with us, I encourage you to give those four talks a listen to: vortexchurch.com – blueprints audio.
A few day’s ago I shared “5 ways to do Facebook wrong”, so I thought it might be nice to follow it up by giving a few suggestions on how we can get it right…
#1 – Kill the idea of privacy.
In a healthy marriage there are no boundaries of privacy. I realize that statement flies in the face of what most of us practically want, but it’s God’s design not mine.
If you have individual accounts, your spouse should have the username and password for you account. If you’re generally posting the same things, you might want to consider having a joint account. It’s not enough to follow them, because (as with any social network) there are activities that happen out of the view of the following public.
If you have a problem with the idea that privacy needs to be killed in your marriage, reflect on this with me: As Genesis 2 closes, after God has created Adam and Eve then united them together in the covenant of marriage, the scriptures tell us this: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:25) As the first (and prototype) married couple, they were so intimate that not even a millimeter of clothing was going to separate them.
#2 – Celebrate and honor your spouse publically.
My wife taught me this important lesson:
It’s quite nice to have flowers waiting for your wife when she gets home. It’s altogether meaningful to show up at her workplace with those flowers and honor her publicly in front of the people she spends her days with.
Facebook gives you a venue to celebrate and honor your spouse publically.
You might be thinking: “I don’t know what to celebrate. I’m really disappointed in my spouse right now.”
Let me suggest that honor works a lot like the cork-in-the-bucket principle. Honor your spouse, as you believe they can be, not as they are. The more you honor them, the more water goes into the bucket. The cork rises to level of water. In the same way, our character often elevates to the level that we’re honored.
#3 – Create technology-free times & zones.
Here are three times you don’t need your phones (or Facebook):
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What did I miss? What’s helped you do Facebook more successfully as a married couple? Leave a comment and share it with us!
Facebook is a wonderful thing. That is, until it’s not.
The purpose of social networks is simple: to connect people to other people. Social networks weren’t necessarily intended to create relationships, but were designed support the relationships we already have. Facebook is great at helping you find that long lost friend from high school or that friend you played sports with growing up.
If you’re married, the way you relate to people other than your spouse is vitally important to your marriage. In 2011, one study showed that Facebook was named in ONE THIRD of divorce filings. That simply means that many of us are doing Facebook wrong.
If you’d like to do Facebook wrong too, here are five suggestions:
#1 – Check Facebook while you’re spending time together.
There’s nothing that says, “You’re valuable to me” like keeping your head down and staring at your phone. So… Take your phones to bed. Take them on dates. When your spouse tries to talk to you, just politely nod your head and ignore them. After all, you’ll post a picture of your meal with the hashtag #datenight, right?
#2 – Seek emotional support from your online community first.
You had a bad day? Tell Facebook first. You need some prayers? Ask Facebook first. Let your spouse learn about what’s happening with you by reading your posts like everyone else does on Facebook.
#3 – Shine a spotlight on your spouse’s failures.
Nothing says, “I love and honor you” like airing your dirty laundry publically!
Everyone makes mistakes, right? So when your spouse blows it, why not make it public knowledge by sharing it with your 734 friends on Facebook? Engage in an ongoing conversation with sympathizers about your plight, and make sure to tag your spouse so they can follow along!
Think about it, if you’ll tell Facebook that, what are you telling your friends at work?
#4 – Create posts to get the kind of attention your spouse should be giving you.
Everyone loves the “feel sorry for me” posts, right? Here’s an example: “I’ve had a bad day and no one seems to care.” That’ll get you attention and let everyone else know your spouse isn’t paying you the attention you deserve!
If that doesn’t work, you can go for the “I’m unappreciated” post. Here’s an example: “I cook and clean and take care of the kids. Don’t I deserve a ‘thank you’?” I’m sure you’re friends will give you a thank you!
Or… if you’re not feeling very attractive, post a picture that you feel makes you look good. If you’re a guy, go shirtless (if you can). If you’re a girl, a good #TBT to a beach picture where you’re in some swimwear should do. Then let your friends remind you that you are attractive!
#5 – Flirt with somebody.
Find an old fling, then like or comment on everything they post on Facebook. You could mention friends from work in your posts, tell how funny they are, or share how they’re so emotionally supportive. When someone you find attractive seems down or hits a rough spot, send them a polite little ‘pick me up’ message to remind them you care!
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I hope you’re not doing Facebook wrong, but many of us are. Getting it wrong is having a seriously negative impact on many marriages.
Getting Facebook wrong isn’t a disease; it’s a symptom of a greater problem. That disease is a lack of honor in our marriages.
Wives, honor your husbands as the person you want him to be, not as the person he is. You’ll see him in his most fragile and vulnerable state, and your response to that will play a huge role in your relationship. Honor nourishes that character of a man. As you honor him, watch him grown.
Husbands honor and protect your wives. Don’t humiliate them because of the failures. Don’t act in a way that makes her feel less important. Guard her heart and position in your life.
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What did I miss? How else can we get Facebook wrong?
Normal isn’t working, especially in our families.
Think about it… What’s normal look like in our families?
Do you want a normal family? I don’t.
In my last blog I shared ways that every family needs to be different. I’m convinced the six things I shared are absolutely necessary for every family.
Here’s the tension about being different:
When the Holy Spirit leads us there is no cookie cutter kind of different.
Today I’m going to share some topics every family needs to thoughtfully and prayerfully approach, because without a plan we’ll live outside of God’s design in the default of normal.
Prayerfully consider how your family will approach these topics:
#1 – TECHNOLOGY
There’s no simple answer to technology these days.
For parents just a generation ago the question pf technology was answered as simply as “How many hours of TV will you let them watch each day?”
These days we need to consider television, tablets, laptops, phones, internet access, social networks, and how they all work together.
Here are few questions you need to have answers for:
These are important questions to answer NOW.
In the heat of the moment, as your kids grow older and normal families do what normal families do, the pressure will mount to be normal when there is no family identity that’s created around a different plan.
If you haven’t identified your unique brand of freaky, you’re kids and your family could become victims to normal.
I learned this lesson coaching football. Before the season starts, a good football-coaching staff will go through different scenarios and decide what they will do when they get to that moment. They do this so they can look at the problem objectively, without the stress and influence of the moment. The benefit of this approach is simple: when decision has to be made, the decision has already been made.
Technology isn’t evil and it can be a powerful tool, but when it thoughtlessly consumed it has a devastating effect on family culture. Your prayerful approach to technology will have a powerful impact on your family.
For further reading, I’d suggest “Alone Together” by Sherry Trukle.
#2 – MONEY
You don’t have to look very far to see the evidence that we’re raising kids that have no concept of money or financial management.
The greatest reason this is happening is that we, as parents, can’t manage our money. We’re living beyond our means, buying stuff we don’t need to impress people we don’t even like, and going in debt at an unprecedented rate.
Why is that an important issue? Because however we address money, we pass that on to our children!
“Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren, but the sinner’s wealth passes to the godly.” Proverbs 13:22 (NLT)
Here are a few questions that it’d be good to talk about and pray through:
I hope you’re with me on this… I don’t want what’s normal for my kids financially. Since we don’t want normal, we’re going to have to be different, and that different is going to be far better!
For further help on this matter we suggest, “Smart Money, Smart Kids” by Rachel Cruze and Dave Ramsey.
#3 – EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
I believe that there is great value in the immense offerings of extracurricular activities today: youth sports, martial arts, competition cheer, dance, music lessons, gymnastics, art lessons, and the list goes on and on.
As a kid I feel like I benefitted from the competition of youth sports. I learned how to win and lose, how to work for something, and that it’s ok for other people to be better than me at things. Those are powerful lessons!
What’s changed drastically since I was kid is the amount of time needed for these activities. What was one practice and one game a week has turned into three or four practices and two or three games a week. That’s a significant change in the level of commitment for our time!
Here’s something that you need to understand about the emergence of all these options: someone is making money off of providing these options for your child. These organizations will put the pressure on you to make decisions for your child and their level of commitment.
Let me remind you of something:
As a parent, no one can commit your family to something except you.
Even with their increasing commitment, I think that many of these options can be wonderful things for our kids.
Here are few questions you need to prayerfully and thoughtfully consider:
Here’s why these questions matter significantly:
You’re teaching your children what matters in life in the way you navigate these options. The way you spend your time is a value statement to your children.
If you give their secondary activities primary importance, you’re teaching them to find value in the wrong places. That’s normal, and we don’t want to be normal!
Eternally… If we don’t teach our kids to find their ultimate meaning and significance in Jesus, we’ve missed the point entirely.
For further reading, we’d suggest “Boundaries” buy Cloud & Townsend.
#4 – CULTURE
There’s never been more ways to connect to culture.
We can watch TV shows on Netflix and Hulu. Listen to albums on Spotify or download them from iTunes. We can stream movies over the internet.
With all of that access comes the good and the bad. The freedom of the internet has given a rise to a remarkable amount of uncensored media, and the dangers that lie there for our kids cannot be understated.
There are few things questions that find more basis in the Scriptures than how we interact with our culture.
In the Old Testament, God created a different culture in the nation of Israel. They stood out. They were different. They had different customs, and through that difference God created their identity.
By the time Jesus shows us, that difference is primarily defined by distance: the God-followers stayed away from those who didn’t follow the religious laws. That wasn’t necessarily how God wanted it to be, so Jesus showed us a different way.
Those “God-followers” called Jesus a “friend of sinners”, because Jesus closed that gap and lived with those who were far away from God. (Matthew 11:19)
Here are a few questions to prayerfully consider when it comes to media and culture:
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These conversations are going to make a huge impact at creating a family identity, and where that identity is strong your kids will be strong.
What did I miss? What else do we need to talking about?
Perhaps you’ve noticed… Normal is not working.
For the last few weeks at Vortex we’ve been focusing on the kind of different God wants us to be. Since normal is not working, we need to be “FREAKY”.
In my last talk I shared this quote:
“Where family identity is strong, peer pressure will be weak, but where family identity is weak, peer pressure will be strong.” – Greg Gunn
Our families are ground zero for teaching our kids that different is not just ok, when the Spirit of God leads it, different is BETTER!
This week I promised to share two blogs with you. The first (this one) is going to cover the ways that every family needs to be freaky. The second (coming on Thursday) is going to share with you a few things each family needs to pray through to consider.
There are certain things EVERY FAMILY needs to do different. We need to create a culture in our families that shifts from what the rest of the world has. We don’t want normal for our kids, so let’s create a family culture that’s different. That difference is going to provide them the basis to resist peer pressure. It’s important!
Here’s how every FREAKY FAMILY needs to do different:
For most families, serving God is an abstract idea. You might say things to your kids like “You need to keep God first”, but how do you practically show them how to do that? You do that by first serving God yourself, and then by getting them to serve along with you. One of the most common factors in teenagers translating into church-attending young adults is the fact that they served in the church as a teenager.
Parents, make sure your kids know that serving in church is a priority. It’s actively demonstrating that you are participating in God’s mission. You’re committed to doing something to help others. When it’s time, get them involved with you. You’ll find that serving provides a real connection God’s mission for your family!
The greatest tools that you have to influence your kids are your time and your words. Your words will not matter if you don’t give your children your time, so make sure that you’re devoted to giving them regular blocks of time.
Deuteronomy 6:7 gives us several windows of time to capitalize on conversation: bedtime, dinners together, and travel time. It’s important to figure out for your family when you’re going to focus on each other and as a parent you need to force conversations.
Conversation is vitally important today, because with the emergence of such a technologically rich culture we’re seeing young people that have such a hard time conversing with others. Lead them at home to understand the importance of talking to one another.
Giving is the antidote to materialism and selfishness. I don’t know if your kids are like ours, but I’ve never had to teach my kids the word “mine”.
The world we live in is much more concerned about acquisition than it is giving. The more we have, the better we think our lives could be. However, many of us find that way of living to be broken and unsatisfying. There is no satisfaction in the pursuit of material wealth.
Jesus warned us: “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” (Luke 12:15)
There are two ways we need to make giving a priority. The first is that our kids need to know that we, as a family, are giving to God. They need to see you buy groceries and clothes to appreciate how much they cost, but they also need to know you’re giving. The second way we do this is by teaching them to give from the money they get in life.
Giving will fight against the normal materialistic desires most of us live with!
We all need to be taught and instructed. We all need to be convicted and respond to God work in our lives with repentance and restoration. We all need a Pastor and a church family. That’s for you as a parent and for your kids as well.
Your kids need to see that you have been convicted and they need to hear you repent. They need to see that you experience truth and do the work to apply it to your life as well. Your kids need to know that you find value in the relationships that your church has leveraged for you.
You kids need to see that because they will need that in life as well.
What do you tell your kids when they’re afraid, when their hearts are broken, when they’re unsure about the future, or when they’re doubting themselves? Most of us provide our opinions. We tell them we love them, and that it’s all going to be ok.
What if we learned to make the Bible a part of those important conversations? 2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
If we’re going to raise kids that run to God first, who seek His opinion above all others, we need to make the Scriptures a central part of our conversations at home!
There are coming moments that don’t make sense, moments that will be difficult, painful, and confusing. If we have not created a family culture to turn to Jesus, where will we turn when those moments come?
Your family needs to pray together regularly. You need to pray to Jesus to thank Him during the great times. You need to praise Him during the victories. You also need to pray during the difficult times. You need to seek His guidance together. You need to ask Him to heal you when you’re wounded. You need to worship Him even when life doesn’t make sense.
A family culture that turns to Jesus first one that’s powerfully different.
We need to embrace different at home, because normal just isn’t working. The difference between our family culture and the world will not be a liability for our kids; it will be an powerful asset. Truthfully, these differences may be the few things that provide the kind of platform for our kids to be those that stand up and chase Jesus relentlessly.
On Thursday I’m going to share a blog that will give you a few things to consider doing differently within your family. These won’t be for every family, but they will be for some! Check back for it on Thursday!
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What did I miss? How should every other family be freaky?