Kevin Simmons

Church

Be Patient With Us

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I once visited a very successful business. The owner and I chatted for a while. He told me, “If you ever have an experience that’s out of the ordinary, please give us some grace. If you have the same experience again, please let me know. The first time could just someone having a bad day.”

I respected that honesty.

Nobody, no matter how genuine they are or how hard they try, always gets it right.

This is very true for us as Pastors. It’s very real for me, personally.

It’s been especially true throughout this year. Navigating a pandemic and massive cultural upheaval, each of which requires its own set of care, has not been easy. There is no playbook.

We haven’t always gotten it right.

I can promise you this: We won’t always get it right, either.

As one very wise Preacher once shared, “If you’re looking for the perfect church, you won’t find it. The moment you set foot inside, you bring your own imperfections with you.”

So… Here’s what I’m asking: Can you be patient with us?

This isn’t something that I’m asking just for this season. I’m asking for this from here on out.

This past Sunday, I was trying to explain a complicated truth during my message. I didn’t explain it correctly, and in fact, you could infer something that would be incorrect from how I said explained it. Even as I said it, I was going “oh noooooo” on the inside. I spent the next few sentences offering some explanation and clarification. This happens a lot because as much as I prepare and practice, I’m not perfect.

I’m not capable of getting it right, but Jesus got it right for me, just like He did for you. It’s HIS righteousness that I stand on, just like you.

Here’s what I can promise: though we’ll never be perfect, I promise to make progress.

Progress takes time. There are lessons to be learned, not repeated.

Learning is a lot like reading a book. I can download a book in under a minute to my iPad, but it will take me weeks to down the wisdom to my heart. Learning lessons works like that for all of us.

So… please be patient with us. We’re learning, but I promise we’re making progress.

Are You Comfortable, Yet?

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We all want to be comfortable.

I’ve been on an endless quest for almost 20 years to make sure my bed is the most comfortable place on the planet. We cycled through pillows, toppers, sheets, duvets, and mattresses. There are so many options and so much to try. 

Most of us want our lives to be like I want my bed: comfortable. 

When you consider our common desire to be comfortable it’s quite odd to note that the greatest advances in our lives often come when we are uncomfortable. 

When you got that diagnosis it changed your diet and you finally lost that twenty pounds you’d needed to lose. 

When that traumatic event happened in your marriage it forced you to recon with some decisions and patterns that had been neglected and you started taking steps towards fulfillment and satisfaction in your relationship. 

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight and started working out. I was approaching my 40th birthday at the time, so I set some goals. I smashed the goals. It was only after I was in car crash and suffered a major concussion (and spent two weeks out of it) that I started to realize how much I need to focus on my health. 

Even though it’s undeniably counterproductive for our wellbeing, we still push towards comfort. 

We do this with our spiritual lives, too. 

We know we need to grow. Nothing stays the same, and when we trying to stay the same we only go backwards.

We need to grow, but we want to stay comfortable. 

That doesn’t work. 

In this season of life, we’ve all been uncomfortable. Living through a pandemic has been remarkably difficult. We’ve had to radically adjust our lives to adapt to the changes that have happened in our local communities. 

When you’re uncomfortable you want to get comfortable.

I remember camping as a kid. Inevitably I’d put my sleeping bag over a root or a rock. All night long I’d twist and turn to get comfortable. 

That’s how many of us are dealing with this season. It’s been uncomfortable, and we’re trying to get comfortable. 

You know what? You don’t want to be comfortable at church. 

I’m not suggesting that you need to put yourself at risk if you’re vulnerable. I’m not admonishing you to handle snakes as a sign of faith. I’m not even asking you to sing if that’s not your thing (although I think singing together is powerful portion of a church service). 

I’m telling you that you don’t want a comfortable church.

Why? Because you won’t grow.

Faith is designed to move, to advance, and to grow. Faith is not designed to sit still. You can’t be a Christian and sit on the sidelines. 

If you’re tired of feeling uncomfortable, I identify with you. I’m there with you. I’m worn down and tired of it all. That doesn’t change what we need. 

We need a faith that moves us, and that kind of faith thrives in an environment where we embrace a holy discomfort. 

Pastors Are Experts, Too

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We live in a world filled with experts.

Social media has given them a platform, and now they let us all know their opinions (even when we don’t ask for them).

Some of the experts we’re encountering are, in some regards, experts. They have a baseline of knowledge that supersedes the average person’s understanding of the subject matter.

When COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 started earlier this year, we came face to face with this reality! Many of us are familiar with colds and the flu virus, but navigating a pandemic with a brand new virus forced us to lean into healthcare workers’ opinions and perspectives.

There was a battery of social media posts from everyone who worked in the healthcare field, some caring and some somewhat mean-spirited, reminding us (those who do not work in the medical field) that we needed to heed the advice of the experts. As much as I’ve studied health issues (and that’s a lot), I’m not as educated as a Registered Nurse, a Respiratory Therapist, or indeed a Physician to discuss the effects of a new virus on our bodies. Their education and their experience have afforded them, as healthcare workers, unique expertise that those of us who do not work in that field do not possess.

This is true for teachers when it comes to our children. They understand the nuances of development and socialization in ways that we, as parents, may not. They know what it means to teach age-appropriate content, not just child-appropriate. They, because of their education and experience, have the expertise that they can bring.

Of course, not everyone sharing their opinion online is an expert. There are plenty of people who think they are experts when they are just opinionated.

The problem with opinions is that this:
The more familiar the experience, the more vast the opinions.

I noticed this when my wife became pregnant for the first time. So many people shared their opinions on pregnancy, childbirth, and raising kids. It’s a pervasive experience. Many of us have done it. We feel a sense of commonality but cannot see the difference between our situation and others. Much of what was shared in the form of “advice” and “opinions” had to deal with specific circumstances and little to do with broad pregnancy and childbirth experiences.

The church is no exception to this phenomenon.

Church is a pretty common experience. Many, many people have gone to church, if only for a while.

When you talk about church, there are a lot of opinions.

Just consider what we, as Pastors, have heard through this season as we’ve navigated a global pandemic:
“To slow the spread of this virus, we need you to stop meeting.”
“Pastor, You can’t halt in-person services. We need to stand for religious liberty.”
“You need to care for the most vulnerable among us by only have online services.”
“I’m tired of online services, it’s just not the same as in-person worship.”
“You can’t gather more than 10 people indoors, especially if you’re going to sing. That spreads the virus.”
“You want us to wear a mask? That’s infringing on my personal liberty.”
“I’m not coming to church unless we’re socially distanced, and all are wearing masks.”
“I’m not coming to church if we don’t do Children’s Ministry.”
“I don’t want my kids to be exposed to other kids who potentially have the virus.”

As I read through my social media feeds, I’m often reminded that because so many people have exposure to church, they have opinions about it, too. I’m continually seeing Pastors belittled, criticized, and mocked. Pastor’s decisions are challenged, their families are attacked, and their leadership is undermined. Why? It’s easy to feel like an expert when you’ve got some experience and an opinion.

During this past season, I’ve leaned into the real healthcare experts’ advice and expertise that I know. I’ve allowed their opinions to help inform our decisions. They’ve helped me understand and have guided my processing. I’ve forever grateful for them.

May I also submit, Pastors are experts, too.

Not every Pastor is an expert in organizational leadership. Not every Pastor has a trendy eye for design or crafts culturally-relevant sayings to post on social media. Not every Pastor is funny. Not every Pastor knows everything you know.

Pastors are experts, though. They are experts in Grace.

We are, often, the chief sinners (1 Tim. 1:15). We aren’t Pastors because we’re perfect. In so many ways, we aren’t. That doesn’t change our calling. We are called to lead you, teach you the Scriptures, and empower you to make an eternal difference.

The depths of our failures and the futility of our efforts have led us to our only end: the Grace of God. We have tried so many times, in vain, to make something happen, and we’ve failed. We have seen our brokenness face to face. We’ve had to share with you about faithfulness when we see our inward faithlessness. We’ve encouraged you to believe in your eternal purpose when we barely made it through the week carrying ours.

In the end, few things will be as important as the Grace of God.

We all need someone in our lives who has searched their lives, found themselves empty, and turned to God’s heart in the depth of His Scriptures to come to understand what we all need.

We need Jesus. As a Pastor and as a person, I’m an expert in knowing that.

Get yourself a Pastor. They won’t be perfect; no “expert” is. Lean into what they have to teach you. Trust God to speak through them, not because of how smart they are, or right they appear to be. Trust them because God uses imperfect men to shape our understanding of His perfection.

Guard Your Expectations

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I used to coach high school football. I loved it. I loved the practices, the preparations, and the Friday night performances. 

I remember once when a parent got upset because we had credited his son with 12 tackles and not more. I can still hear him screaming at me, “You know it was more than that!” In case you don’t know… twelve tackles in a high school football game is an incredible achievement. 

We used to say, “Coaching would be an amazing job if it wasn’t for the parents.” 

Why? As coaches and athletes, we were on the same team, and often a parent is on a different team: their kid’s team. They see everything through the lens of their child. How does this affect my kid? Will my kid be better because of this? They do not see things through the lens of the team. 

I pastor a young, growing church I feel a similar tension again. I’ve heard other Pastors say, “Pastoring would be an amazing job if it wasn’t for ‘church people’.” In many ways, people who’ve grown up in church present some of the greatest challenges to leading a congregation. 

People who are new to Jesus, fresh to the Christian experience, and new to church present a different kind of challenge when leading. They’re often excited and motivated to make a difference, and they usually jump right in to put their gifts to work. But… They can come with a mess. Their sin is going to become a challenge as we start to lead them. 

“Church people” come with a different challenge, and that challenge is simply that they’ve been to church, been involved in leading a church, or served a church before. 

Why is that a challenge? 

It’s a challenge because our prior experience creates present expectations. 

Why do “church people” get mad when they feel like decisions are being made that they disagree with in a local church? Perhaps in their prior experience at church (or life), they’ve been given a voice to affect the trajectory of decisions, the churches they’ve been a part of were led with an (unbiblical) democratic governance, or the leaders they worked with gave them a platform to share their opinions. It’s reasonable to understand that they come with an expectation that they will be heard, and their request will be responded to. 

Why do “church people” get upset when there is change with in a local church? Perhaps the churches they’ve been a part of held to a consistent tradition from which they found a source of peace and strength. They were given a chance in other incidences to affect the change or squash the change or simply disagree with the church’s leadership or direction. There are expectations that the local church will either stay consistent in it’s practice or only change when it’s agreed upon. 

If you’re a “church person”, let me give you three expectations to guard to help you have a life-giving relationship with the local church: 

1 – Guard your expectations for how the church responds to you. 

The church doesn’t exist to serve your purposes. The church exists to serve Jesus’ purposes. We all have expectations when it comes to personal interactions, and, in many ways in the church, that’s been informed by our prior experience in the local church. A church that’s serving 500 people will not interact with you in the same way that a church that’s serving 50 people can. If you’re in a smaller church, it’s easier for those serving you to infer your needs. The more people that a church is serving and the less connected you are in that community of faith, the more the burden is on you to communicate your needs to the local church. Even then, it’s important to know that every church interacts and responds differently. Give grace and don’t measure your current situation by past experiences (both good and bad). 

2 – Guard your expectations for change and decision-making. 

Many churches are run by a local board made of up of well-meaning, good-intentioned people who have no formal training to lead an organization or a church. In the past pandemic, I’ve read a lot about COVID-19. I can earnestly speak to the data that I’ve read and the research that is emerging. But… I’m not a doctor, a nurse, or a respiratory therapist. There’s a background of work and knowledge that leverages expertise to those individuals who have been called and trained for those jobs. Similarly, churches need to be piloted by the ones who God has called and equipped for the role of leading that congregation. Don’t view change as an enemy. Instead, let the change take it’s a course and invest yourself in making it as good as possible. Don’t argue about decisions that aren’t yours to make. Instead, invest yourself in making the application of those decisions as life-giving as possible. Change isn’t always for the best, but it’s evident in our culture that a refusal to change is a death sentence on any church. Work through these tensions with honor, humility, and submission. 

3 – Guard your expectations of your Pastor. 

Let me openly say that I’ve failed this job and this calling many, many times. I’ve cried and mourned when I’ve done so. Your Pastor isn’t perfect, and they never will be. We’re not superhuman. We come to the job with a calling, our gifts, and, unfortunately, our weaknesses, too. I’ve heard “church people” say, “The people in the world treat me so much better than the people in the church.” I once heard John Bevere address this. He said, “You expect so little from the world that when they do anything good it’s a blessing, but you expect so much from other Christians that when they misstep in the slightest, it becomes an offense.” Honoring a Pastor isn’t thinking that they’re a superhero that’s incredibly gifted, strong, and never in error. Instead, honoring them is more about living in awe of what God is doing through a fellow believer who is just as flawed as you are. If you’re looking for the perfect Pastor, you’ll be looking for a long time looking at human beings. God’s called us all to be led by imperfect people, and through them to see the perfect God who is actively redeeming us all. 

I’m thankful to lead many “church people”, and I’m grateful that we can shape this next generation together.

Let’s guard our expectations and lean into what God has for us. 

It Matters That You’re There

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How often do you talk about Jesus?

I’m not talking about a quick “Jesus loves you.” I’m not even talking about you’re “Thank you, Jesus!” when you passed that police officer speeding and didn’t get a ticket. 

I’m talking about a real, in-depth conversation about your faith… a thirty-minute, uncomfortable, but necessary conversation about the things you need to address, change, and be encouraged within your faith. 

It’s probably been a while. 

We don’t have a lot of forced conversations that come from different perspectives. Most of us engage in conversation that is comfortable and stays pretty much in the field of our point-of-view. We’re not creatures that generally seek out a challenge. 

But… we need to be challenged. 

We all-too-often live our lives practically trying to pursue comfort. We want a more comfortable financial situation, we want a bigger home, a nicer bed, or a newer car. We work long hours and extra days to afford such. 

Comfort never created meaning. 

We want a social-media-worthy life, but that type of life isn’t what cultivates meaning in our lives. Comfort creates complacency. When we’re comfortable, we’re less likely to move or adjust our lives. Jesus’ invitation was to follow Him, and following is always going to require movement. 

Why do we need to be in church? There are two things at church that make us uncomfortable and compel our stories forward. We need them both equally. 

The first is relationships. We need to be at church because there are people at church that we need to be in a relationship with. We need the challenge that they bring to our lives. You can’t get that online. It happens when you’re there. 

The second thing we need is a Pastor. We need someone to lovingly force a spiritual conversation for us each week that compels growth in our relationship with God. We need to not be able to press pause or skip to another, more comfortable talk that we’d rather listen to. 

The church is a bold assembly of broken people united in worship of a beautiful Savior. We need the people and that Pastor, and you can’t really have that when you’re not there. 

It matters. And… It matters that you’re there.