Kevin Simmons

Kevin Simmons

Are You Comfortable, Yet?

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We all want to be comfortable.

I’ve been on an endless quest for almost 20 years to make sure my bed is the most comfortable place on the planet. We cycled through pillows, toppers, sheets, duvets, and mattresses. There are so many options and so much to try. 

Most of us want our lives to be like I want my bed: comfortable. 

When you consider our common desire to be comfortable it’s quite odd to note that the greatest advances in our lives often come when we are uncomfortable. 

When you got that diagnosis it changed your diet and you finally lost that twenty pounds you’d needed to lose. 

When that traumatic event happened in your marriage it forced you to recon with some decisions and patterns that had been neglected and you started taking steps towards fulfillment and satisfaction in your relationship. 

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight and started working out. I was approaching my 40th birthday at the time, so I set some goals. I smashed the goals. It was only after I was in car crash and suffered a major concussion (and spent two weeks out of it) that I started to realize how much I need to focus on my health. 

Even though it’s undeniably counterproductive for our wellbeing, we still push towards comfort. 

We do this with our spiritual lives, too. 

We know we need to grow. Nothing stays the same, and when we trying to stay the same we only go backwards.

We need to grow, but we want to stay comfortable. 

That doesn’t work. 

In this season of life, we’ve all been uncomfortable. Living through a pandemic has been remarkably difficult. We’ve had to radically adjust our lives to adapt to the changes that have happened in our local communities. 

When you’re uncomfortable you want to get comfortable.

I remember camping as a kid. Inevitably I’d put my sleeping bag over a root or a rock. All night long I’d twist and turn to get comfortable. 

That’s how many of us are dealing with this season. It’s been uncomfortable, and we’re trying to get comfortable. 

You know what? You don’t want to be comfortable at church. 

I’m not suggesting that you need to put yourself at risk if you’re vulnerable. I’m not admonishing you to handle snakes as a sign of faith. I’m not even asking you to sing if that’s not your thing (although I think singing together is powerful portion of a church service). 

I’m telling you that you don’t want a comfortable church.

Why? Because you won’t grow.

Faith is designed to move, to advance, and to grow. Faith is not designed to sit still. You can’t be a Christian and sit on the sidelines. 

If you’re tired of feeling uncomfortable, I identify with you. I’m there with you. I’m worn down and tired of it all. That doesn’t change what we need. 

We need a faith that moves us, and that kind of faith thrives in an environment where we embrace a holy discomfort. 

A Family Update – September 2020

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Every once in a while, I think it’s helpful to update you on what’s going on with our family. I know that many of you pray for us regularly, and your prayers are better directed and facilitated the more you are informed. 

Here are few recent updates from our family… 

Our kids are crazy. 

We are blessed with their mess. This is a very chaotic season for our family. Adahlae just celebrated her ninth birthday in July. Klayton turns seven this weekend. Kade is three and full of it. Their lives are filled with love, excitement, and chaos. We need all of that. 

With that being said, this is a chaotic season. Small children in abundance bring their own needs, and this season is full of that. Amanda text me this morning that it appears one of our kids wiped their butt on the shower curtain. This is our normal, and it will be our normal moving forward for a few years. 

Pray that we continue to have the focus and energy. Our kids are in a high-need season, and we want to do the work we’re called to as parents willfully and joyfully! 

Things have settled down. 

When the “shelter in place” orders were issued here in North Carolina in March, we had no idea what we were dealing with. To think that we’d still be in a pattern of restrictions six months later wasn’t even fathomable. However, that’s where we find ourselves.

When the transitions happened, Amanda worked from home as a teacher, homeschooled all of our kids, and prepared us for a move. Oh, yea… We sold our house right before all this mess happened. So… We moved. She took taught the kids, fulfilled her responsibilities as a teacher, and helped keep all of us on track. 

When we pivoted to mostly online, I worked for almost a month straight with no days off. There was so much to figure out and change. The stress was so great. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve even processed it all yet. 

Just to be vulnerable… We had this dream of building a life-giving church in Albemarle. Then we launched Vortex, and it’s been amazing. At the beginning of 2020, things were going so very good. We had record attendance days on off Sundays. So many new families joined the church. And then all this. I was so scared it would all collapse. 

Our first Sunday of online-only ministry, I remember feeling so proud of our church. We showed up. Over the next few months, we had a strong online presence, but it slowly transitioned. We were in the summer months. People were tired of looking at screens. I get it. I was, too. 

A little over a month ago, we reopened for in-person services. We returned a high percentage for only being a few weeks into it. I’m still crushed by the families that I see that are not engaged now. I believe in the local church. I believe it has such a significantly high value for every family, and it hurts me to see so many who, without reason, have disconnected from it. According to recent studies, one-third of those attending church before COVID-19 have stopped going to church. That breaks my heart. 

Now that our kids are in school, Amanda is back to teaching, and we’ve reopened for in-person services, our lives have settled back down. There’s a lot to catch up to, I’m finding out. I have quite a bit of stress from this past season that I still need to process through, but I’m in a place to do that now. 

Amanda is in pain. 

On Labor Day, we took our family out on our boat. Amanda started complaining earlier that morning about her back. By the end of the day, she was in pretty consistent pain. 

On Thursday of that week, she woke up and was in incredible pain. We took her to the doctor and then went to the hospital for an MRI. We found out that she has two particular and severe issues in her lower back.

Currently, she has an appointment with a neurosurgeon in a few days, and we’ll be following up with a coarse of treatment following that appointment. The doctor we’re seeing is highly regarded, and we’re expecting God to continue to provide healing and relief. 

Here’s how to pray: 

1. Pray for our kids, that God will continue to shape their hearts, minds, and lives. Also, pray for us as parents to not grow fatigued in our obedience to the call of “parent” on our lives. 

2. Pray for healing in our heart from the trauma and stresses of this past season. We’ve had a crazy year, just like you. We have many people who depend on us, and we want to be healthy for them. 

3. Pray for healing in Amanda’s lower back. Pray for wisdom and guidance from her neurosurgeon. Pray against any adverse effects until she’s treated. 

Finally… 

As always, thank you so much for loving us. We are so thankful for the opportunity to serve you. 

Pastors Are Experts, Too

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We live in a world filled with experts.

Social media has given them a platform, and now they let us all know their opinions (even when we don’t ask for them).

Some of the experts we’re encountering are, in some regards, experts. They have a baseline of knowledge that supersedes the average person’s understanding of the subject matter.

When COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 started earlier this year, we came face to face with this reality! Many of us are familiar with colds and the flu virus, but navigating a pandemic with a brand new virus forced us to lean into healthcare workers’ opinions and perspectives.

There was a battery of social media posts from everyone who worked in the healthcare field, some caring and some somewhat mean-spirited, reminding us (those who do not work in the medical field) that we needed to heed the advice of the experts. As much as I’ve studied health issues (and that’s a lot), I’m not as educated as a Registered Nurse, a Respiratory Therapist, or indeed a Physician to discuss the effects of a new virus on our bodies. Their education and their experience have afforded them, as healthcare workers, unique expertise that those of us who do not work in that field do not possess.

This is true for teachers when it comes to our children. They understand the nuances of development and socialization in ways that we, as parents, may not. They know what it means to teach age-appropriate content, not just child-appropriate. They, because of their education and experience, have the expertise that they can bring.

Of course, not everyone sharing their opinion online is an expert. There are plenty of people who think they are experts when they are just opinionated.

The problem with opinions is that this:
The more familiar the experience, the more vast the opinions.

I noticed this when my wife became pregnant for the first time. So many people shared their opinions on pregnancy, childbirth, and raising kids. It’s a pervasive experience. Many of us have done it. We feel a sense of commonality but cannot see the difference between our situation and others. Much of what was shared in the form of “advice” and “opinions” had to deal with specific circumstances and little to do with broad pregnancy and childbirth experiences.

The church is no exception to this phenomenon.

Church is a pretty common experience. Many, many people have gone to church, if only for a while.

When you talk about church, there are a lot of opinions.

Just consider what we, as Pastors, have heard through this season as we’ve navigated a global pandemic:
“To slow the spread of this virus, we need you to stop meeting.”
“Pastor, You can’t halt in-person services. We need to stand for religious liberty.”
“You need to care for the most vulnerable among us by only have online services.”
“I’m tired of online services, it’s just not the same as in-person worship.”
“You can’t gather more than 10 people indoors, especially if you’re going to sing. That spreads the virus.”
“You want us to wear a mask? That’s infringing on my personal liberty.”
“I’m not coming to church unless we’re socially distanced, and all are wearing masks.”
“I’m not coming to church if we don’t do Children’s Ministry.”
“I don’t want my kids to be exposed to other kids who potentially have the virus.”

As I read through my social media feeds, I’m often reminded that because so many people have exposure to church, they have opinions about it, too. I’m continually seeing Pastors belittled, criticized, and mocked. Pastor’s decisions are challenged, their families are attacked, and their leadership is undermined. Why? It’s easy to feel like an expert when you’ve got some experience and an opinion.

During this past season, I’ve leaned into the real healthcare experts’ advice and expertise that I know. I’ve allowed their opinions to help inform our decisions. They’ve helped me understand and have guided my processing. I’ve forever grateful for them.

May I also submit, Pastors are experts, too.

Not every Pastor is an expert in organizational leadership. Not every Pastor has a trendy eye for design or crafts culturally-relevant sayings to post on social media. Not every Pastor is funny. Not every Pastor knows everything you know.

Pastors are experts, though. They are experts in Grace.

We are, often, the chief sinners (1 Tim. 1:15). We aren’t Pastors because we’re perfect. In so many ways, we aren’t. That doesn’t change our calling. We are called to lead you, teach you the Scriptures, and empower you to make an eternal difference.

The depths of our failures and the futility of our efforts have led us to our only end: the Grace of God. We have tried so many times, in vain, to make something happen, and we’ve failed. We have seen our brokenness face to face. We’ve had to share with you about faithfulness when we see our inward faithlessness. We’ve encouraged you to believe in your eternal purpose when we barely made it through the week carrying ours.

In the end, few things will be as important as the Grace of God.

We all need someone in our lives who has searched their lives, found themselves empty, and turned to God’s heart in the depth of His Scriptures to come to understand what we all need.

We need Jesus. As a Pastor and as a person, I’m an expert in knowing that.

Get yourself a Pastor. They won’t be perfect; no “expert” is. Lean into what they have to teach you. Trust God to speak through them, not because of how smart they are, or right they appear to be. Trust them because God uses imperfect men to shape our understanding of His perfection.

A New Rhythm

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As I write this, it’s the first Monday after Labor Day.

It’s no longer socially acceptable to wear white, and summer is rapidly coming to an end. 

This week signals something important for me: a new rhythm. 

You may not notice it, but your life is filled with rhythm. I know, I know… You can’t dance. I’m not a great dancer either, but I have come to understand that my life is filled with rhythms.

Our summer is a chaotic rhythm. My wife is a public school teacher, and she is home for two and a half months each summer. Amanda is so gifted in many areas, but keeping a calendar is not her priority. Amanda lives each day with minimal regard for yesterday or tomorrow. It’s a beautiful perspective, but it’s so different from me. We have a very loose, unorganized schedule during the summer, but make no mistake… there is a rhythm. 

During the summers, we wake up later. Our kids have more of a say in the flow and function of our days. My wife and my daughter celebrate birthdays in July. We take a few summer trips during the summer break to visit friends, spend time with family, and enjoy the beach. 

Then school starts.

Immediately in mid-August, teachers report back to prepare for a new school year. The kids get back to school soon after that. Then, there’s Labor Day, a quiet three-day weekend in early September, followed by my birthday (typically that week). 

And now… a new rhythm. 

There is so much freedom in rhythm. 

It seems a bit odd to say that because it feels as if rhythm would be confining. It’s not. Freedom always has boundaries. 

Only a few different notes are used to create every song you’ve ever heard—three colors used in every piece of art you’ve ever seen. 

Freedom and creativity thrive inside boundaries. 

Life thrives in a rhythm. 

From the beginning, God gave us a rhythm: six days of work followed by a day of rest. It was so important, God included this command in the formal Law delivered to Moses (Exodus 20:8-11). Jesus regularly showed us that he needed to withdraw and rest. 

As our rhythm resets, I internally dream about what God could do in this season: What books will I read? What thoughts will I write? Where will God take me? 

Let me ask you a few critical questions that have helped me understand the rhythm I’ve lived in: 

1. What’s most important in this season? 

Your time is a valuable resource. Your rhythm is creating space for what’s important. Are you giving adequate space to what’s really important? 

Not every season has the same priorities. There have been times that I’ve needed rest, and there have been times that I needed to work. There have been seasons where I needed to be more devoted to home and seasons where I’ve needed to be more devoted to work. Make sure you are consistently asking this question as you enter a new season of life. 

2. What’s not important in this season? 

How many of us are chasing old dreams or trying to accomplish something we aren’t yet prepared to do? 

This question helps process this moment. This moment is invariably different than every other moment. Every moment in our lives has different needs. As you process this season of life, it’ll be important to process this question. 

Remember: Just because something isn’t important during this season doesn’t mean it’s not important. Declaring that something is unimportant during this season establishes it’s a priority as you set your rhythm. 

3. Does Jesus have space to move in your life? 

I sincerely believe that one of the reasons God insists that we rest is that we leave no room for God when we get busy. It’s easy to fill our lives with so many good things, but good things will never replace God. 

Whatever your rhythm, remember these things:

It’s holy to work.

We are blessed to be able to enjoy this life. 

Give your time and energy away to something eternal. 

And… Always make room for Jesus. 

There’s Life In The Mess

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We share a bathroom with our kids for the first time. If you have small kids, you know… This isn’t exactly pleasant.

The other day our middle son was at the dentist. He told them stories, making them all laugh, and then told my wife, “I don’t know why I can remember all these stories, but I can’t remember to wipe my own butt.”

I’m over-showerer. I shower at night, in the morning, and maybe more if I need it. This is entirely too much showering, and I get that. (Please… No lectures on water conservation and etc.)

Most nights, I shower after my kids take their baths in the same bathroom we all share. When I get into the bathroom after their bedtime, there are toys everywhere. Clothes are all over the ground. Last night the entire floor was covered in water. It’s a dang mess.

I heard an older friend talk about this. His kids are grown. When he came home from work, he’d see fingerprints all over the glass door. He’d get upset and ask for it to be cleaned. The kids were instructed how to open the door and not get fingerprints all over it. They had five kids, so this went on for quite a few years.

Not too long ago, my friend came home to an empty house.

The kids have all grown up and moved out. It’s just him and his wife at home now.

As he walked in the door, he caught himself thinking, “I sure do miss those fingerprints.”

Could it be that there’s life in the mess?

Maybe every time I come into that bathroom, and the toys fill the tub, it’s an invitation to rejoice. Perhaps the fingerprints all over the door are reason to celebrate. Could it be that we’ve been trying to fix the very things breathing life into our current existence?

A few days ago, I started re-reading the Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. He talked about the moment that Jesus declared that the “kingdom of God is like a little child” (ref: Matthew 18:3). Manning points out that for Jesus, that wasn’t a statement of innocence or purity. It’s as if Jesus was saying, “Children are hopelessly a mess. If they get in on this, then we all can get in on this.”

Maybe the mess is an invitation to see yourself as a mess, too, and then recognize that God has wildly loved you in your mess.

Of course, teach your kids to clean their mess up, because that’s teaching them to be adults and take responsibility for their actions.

Maybe there’s another way.

We don’t have to let the mess mess-up our days.

One day, you’ll most likely miss the mess.

So… let’s enjoy the mess because there’s life in the mess!