Becoming a Daddy is quite daunting.
I suppose becoming a Daddy should be a little intimidating.
“Daddy” is a pretty big job. I want to be a good Daddy. I want to simply because I love my little girl.
There’s a lot that happens in these first few days: I’ve held my first newborn (ever), changed my first diaper (ever), and perfected the “kevin-swaddle” (seriously).
I’ve noticed that Adahlae hates to be naked.
Most new babies hate being naked, or so I’ve been told. A newborn can’t tell the difference between cold & pain, so it’s quite traumatic when the cold air hits their skin.
Whenever she’s having her diaper changed, she cries. She squirms. She kicks and punches. She’s upset and wants to let me know.
Clothes being changed … same reaction.
In those first few hours I noticed just how easy it is to “adopt” her reactions.
If she gets frustrated, it’s easy to get frustrated. If she gets upset, it’s easy to get upset. If she hurts, it’s easy to hurt.
I love her, and my affection for her only amplifies my connection to her reactions.
I made a very quick observation to Amanda the day she was born:
“We can’t let her frustrations become ours.”
If I get frustrated when she does, it limits my ability to make the right decision in that moment. If I get upset when she’s upset, it limits my ability to comfort her and address the real, underlying problem. If I let her hurts hurt me, then I cannot comfort her.
If I enter her storm, I cannot help her stay attached to an anchor or point the way out.
You can rest assured that in every area of leadership, you’ll face storms.
As a husband I’ve face storms in my wife and in our marriage. When I was a teacher I dealt with storms in our school district, in our department, in my classroom, and in the lives of my students. As a pastor I face storms in our church, in our staff, and in our people’s lives.
Storms are inevitable.
When you love what you’re doing & who you’re leading, it’s easy to “adopt” their problems and step right on into their storm. That decision, however, dramatically limits your ability to lead them out.
In the midst of a storm, a good leader is the chain that links the ship to it’s anchor; the anchor is Jesus. A good leader is a compass and has the ability to reveal “true North” in the course of a storm; Jesus is our “true North”.
Jesus is always the anchor, because He is the unchanging one; Daddies get to connect their families to the anchor. Jesus is “true North” because He is our direction; Daddies get to be the compass that points that direction.
Navigating a storm is never easy, but without an anchor and a compass … it’s pretty much impossible.
That’s my job. That’s what a Daddy does.
And … That’s what I’ve learned so far. At least some of it.
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